Emily Winters

 “Sounding like the early summer rain”

And each day, it gets

Harder to breathe. It gets harder to

Walk around as if I am not living beneath the

Constant blur, struggling under the relentless

Haze of the little things as they

Beat their wings against our window,

Sounding like the early summer rain to

Wake up to… if only I could still

Wake up next to you.

You’d grin if you were here.

Tell me to suck it up but I’m tired now.

I’m tired.

There’s too much futility to be invested

In the mundane, too much repetition to

Be excited anymore, too many

Gray days stretched ahead of me and I’m

Sick of the clouds. I’m tired of the rain.

He reminds me of you. The one sitting

Next to me while you’re away, melding

With the stormy weather as I’m finding it

Harder to remember all the times that we’d

Get lost together but how many times did I

Disappear into your eyes, drifting amongst the

Cliffs, my fingers trailing lifelessly over the

Tombstones of your youth, my mouth stumbling

Over your lips, your tongue, your teeth;

My words butchering all of your hurts

I guess I never could soothe.

Did I do anything right? Could I ever hold you

As strongly as surely as kindly as you cradled

My head night after night?

I tried. Damn it all I tried so hard to love you

And I love you

I love you.